My steps to recovery

Realization

Ok so, I’ve been questioned and sent home.  I’ve realized that I have to stop!  My next step was detox.  Please read about my detox experience on the other page.  It was such that it deserved its own full-page!  It discusses most of the physical, here I will discuss more of the emotional and how I survived.

You are so sick at this point im not really sure if you can be upbeat, but to say I was depressed is a huge understatement.   The first few days were basically survival.  I was not sleeping, there was just no relief from the misery.  After about five days from being suspended from work i confessed all to my husband.  Again I think talking to family about this will get its own page!  Once it was out there and I didn’t have to worry about my husband finding out, I felt free to tell a few others who were very close.  One being my sister.  My sister is a Christian and proceeded to tell me how God could get me through this.  I was a Christian too, but how can or why would God help me.  I was a druggie pure and simple.  I had lied, cheated, stolen, and a whole host of things that are against God.  She had told me to pray for help.

About a month before everything had happened I had gotten my family to church.  I felt that was my last hope.  I had no clue what trouble lied ahead I just knew I was addicted and didn’t know what to do.  God had tried to speak to me while at church but even though I say I wanted help I was not willing to do what it took to get it.

Before the drama at work started I say at church two weeks prior.  I cried most of the service.  When it was altar call I grabbed hold of the pew in front of me and held on for dear life.  I was under such strong conviction from God to get this taken care of.  I left the church feeling terrible.  Once I got to the car I just put it out of my mind and tried not to think of again.  Once everything happened with work it was all I could think of.  Here I had the chance to get right with God and I wouldn’t take it.  I had prayed and asked him for help.  This was not the kind of help I meant.

Many things happened that week.  My sister called my pastor told him what was going on and had him call me.  He stepped right in him and his wife.  There was no judgement just two people who wanted to help me.  I found some other nurses online and began talking with them.  They had went through withdrawal so they knew how I felt.  I began reading my Bible once able.  I did a lot of praying!   I found once able that talking with people made it easier.  At this time I did not know of NA meetings.  I’m not sure if I would have went but I believe that they could have been very helpful.

 

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